Many parents find that their children act very mean to their friends．They wonder what they can do about this behavior without squashing their spirit．Here is what parenting experts explain and suggest：
Pre-schoolers have no idea how others feel．They are in the process of understanding their own feelings and have not yet developed “emotional intelligence”．Children of this age also do things just because it can make them feel powerful when they are able to make others respond．
Here are some things you can do to reduce the mean talk：When the child’s in a good mood, look her in the eyes and lovingly tell her how you feel when she speaks in a mean way to another child．Have a look of disappointment on your face and role-play with her to show her the behavior you would like to see．Then, every time you see her demonstrating the “nice” interaction with others, stop what you’re doing, give her eye contact and make a big deal out of it．Young children need to know what good behavior looks like with regular encouragement．When you catch her being mean to a child, get down on your knees next to her, and, with your arm around her, face the child that is receiving her meanness, and apologize to the child for both of you, then walk away．As soon as the other child is away, let your daughter know how disappointed you are in her behavior and quickly let it go．
Parents should set up a consequence when this negative behavior occurs．You can give these other ideas a try first．If you’re not seeing any results after a few times, then go ahead and set up the consequence (such as not being able to play with that child)．Avoid using “time out” because it doesn’t work．It gives the child too much power and too much attention．The most effective consequences are those that are directly tied to the behavior．If she is being mean to children, then the play session ends．And most importantly, set up this consequence in advance when the negative behavior is NOT occurring．
If you should catch her being a “bully” to another child, and she has somehow hurt him or her, immediately put all your attention on the victim, not her．Don’t scold or punish your daughter．Softly, gently, and immediately, nurture the hurt child and get your daughter to assist you in the nurturing．When things have calmed down, let her know face to face how disappointed you are in her behavior, not her as a child．
68．When a child talks mean to his friend, the best way to correct it is to ________．
A．tell him directly that it is a wrong doing B．demonstrate what a good behavior is
C．make him apologize to his friend D．ask his friend not to play with him any more
69．The underlined phrase “make a big deal out of it” in paragraph 3 probably means ________．
A．show some disappointment B．say a few words of praise
C．exchange gifts with the child D．present a surprised look
70．When dealing with a child’s mean action, you shouldn’t _______．
A．punish her in the presence of her friend B．put on a disappointed look on your face
C．tell her that you are unhappy to see that D．nurture the hurt child immediately
71．The passage is mainly about how to _______．
A．bring up children B．solve pre-school children’s problems
C．help children make friends D．guide children when bad behaviors occur
