A. Try to know more about your child.
B. Being a daddy is your top priority.
C. Value your child for what he is.
D. Let your child teach you.
E. Time is of the essence.
F. Look for the good and praise it.
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Seven Simple Rules for Dad
My main object in life is to make sure I do the best possible job raising Tommy, now aged ten. That means I have to be the best possible father I can be. I am no psychologist, but I do see what succeeds with my son and me. I also observe other fathers. Here is what I have found works best in the dad department.
1.
The key to a happy child is having a dad who is there with him consistently, day in and day out. It is far better to spend evening after evening just sitting near him while he reads a book or plays on the computer than to spend a couple of hours every Saturday buying him toys or taking in a movie.
2. Share your strengths and fears.
You are your child's ally, not his adversary. The child who knows that his father was once afraid of the dark, and is still afraid of needles, gets to know that his own weaknesses are part of mankind, not a unique shame.
3.
Encouragement is the primary engine of human development. I have been telling Tommy for a year now that he is a whiz in math because I know he can calculate in a nanosecond the number of toys he can buy with his allowance. Now he's a whiz in math at school too. Consistent recognition of a child's strengths is more important by far than vitamins. You deny it to them at their peril and yours.
4. Do not allow your children to be rude.
My son is expected to share, answer others when they greet him and congratulate those who succeed. By teaching him about politeness, I make sure he realizes that others' feelings are worth taking into account. If he can get that into his little towhead, he will have learned the most basic foundation of human interaction.
5.
A common misstatement about child development is that “kids don't come with instruction manuals(操作指南).” Not true—they do. They tell you when they’re hungry. They tell you when they're lonely or scared. They are like little guided tours of themselves. Children will tell you what they want, although not always with words. Fatigue, irritability and sadness are ways of telling Dad what they need. Look and listen.
6.
When Tommy knows he is loved for himself, not for any particular accomplishment, he has a certain peace that allows him to learn better, sleep better, play better, be more helpful around the house. Whether he becomes a rocket scientist or a plumber, I want Tommy to know he's No. 1 with me.
7.
If you decide your kids come before your sales quota or bridge game, you will find that all the other pieces of Daddyhood fall into place. When you put your kids first, you're getting the most value for every hour on earth. What’s more, you have made the rightest decision of your life.
—benjamin j. stein in The Washingtonian
