Dear Expert:
I was asked to retrieve my 14-year-old daughter from a five-day camping trip. She was suffering
from such severe separation anxiety, her teacher thought she should go home. She hadn't eaten
anything and had refused to participate in any activities. The thing is my daughter is extremely bright
and has many friends; she organized a few friends into a band, and it belongs to several school clubs.
She's just always had an extreme fear of being away from home. I don't want her to miss out on
other trips.
Yours truly,
Jonathan |
Dear Jonathan:
Sometimes kids can push through homesickness, but in other instances they become hurt
mentally and develop greater anxiety around outings, which can worsen and prolong (延长) the
problem. Separation anxiety can be the result of many complex interactions some genetic (遗传的)
and some learned. People with high anxiety tend to be fearful and worried, ever when the sense of
threat is minimum (最低程度). Lots of talented, creative and successful people are exceedingly
anxious.
I believe your daughter is bright, active and popular, but simply can't do well outside her home
base. My suggestion is to take things in small steps, so your daughter can experience success, and
always have a fallback (退却) plan if she needs it. For instance, she can plan an overnight with a
friend, but assure her it's no big deal to pick her up at midnight if she changes her mind. What's
important is to recognize the fear, and make plans to deal with whatever may cause distress. In other
words, don't try to talk your daughter out of her fears, equip her to master them. This way she'll
eventually gain the confidence to go on further trips.
Expert |
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