For many years there's been a debate about rewarding our children. Does it work? Is it effective?
Some people think we should establish a standard with our kids and give them something for meeting this standard as a reward. Punishment is given out in much the same way, but it’s used when certain standards of performance, behavior, etc. have not been met. Kids will often become more dutiful when threatened with punishment, and work harder when promised a valuable reward. The problem is what happens when you aren’t around.
To develop responsible, self-disciplined kids, parents need to promote certain ideas. One of these ideas is that everyone pitches in and helps in your family. Another idea is that there can be enjoyment in doing any task if we choose to make it so. When a task is for a worthy cause (our family can enjoy the house more because I helped clean it), this message can have a big impact.
This is how we help our kids develop a sense of responsibility. When our children develop this responsibility, they’ll be more disciplined, and they’ll control their emotions better. When we give rewards to our kids, we reduce the sense of responsibility. We also create children who may temporarily perform to a certain standard, but who aren’t likely to continue the performance without the carrot hanging in front of them.
“Rewards and punishment can change behavior for a while, but they cannot change the person who engages in the behavior,” said Alfie Kohn, author of Punished by Rewards. “Good values have to be grown from the inside out.” Parents can help give their children a sense of shared responsibility and discipline which can last a life time. The real rewards that your children receive will be their readiness for the complex and demanding world that waits for them—a world that rewards those who have learned the secrets of discipline responsibility. So keep those shiny rewarding to yourself, and let your kids find their own rewards.
小题1:According to the passage, when children are threatened with punishment, ______.
A．they may lose interest in their work
B．the results will be worse than usual
C．they may change to another person
D．they may appear to be well-behaved小题2:The underlined part “the carrot” in Paragraph 4 probably refers to _____.
A．apologies
B．aims
C．rewards
D．doubts小题3:According to the passage, Alfie Kohn would agree that parents should ______.
A．never pay attention to the way their children do things
B．show their children how to behave by example
C．help their children establish good values
D．never punish their children小题4:What’s the best title for the passage?
A．Should parents reward their children?
B．Do you often reward your children?
C．When should parents reward their children?
D．What can parents reward their children with?
