Would you please listen? It’s a complaint we’ve all heard (though perhaps not listened to). The price paid for not listening can be high: from making a mess of a task to broken relationships. “Frustrated, devalued, and disrespected—that’s how people feel when they’re ‘heard’ but not ‘listened to’,” says Jennie Grau, president of communications training and coaching firm Taliaferro Grau Associates. Yet focusing attention and understanding—the qualities that make physically hearing different from actually listening—can be hard to develop.
Learn to truly understand others, and you’ll improve your personal and professional skill sets alike. Business is all about relationships, and being a better listener helps you establish more positive relationships, says Rockhurst University communications professor Laura Janusik.
The first step is to limit anything that draws your attention away. Give up multi-tasking, and focus on what the speaker’s saying. If the moment simply doesn’t allow you to pay full attention, set up an alternative time when you will be able to concentrate.
Next, stop interrupting. Always want to jump in before the other person finishes speaking? Control yourself like this: Press your fingers firmly, count to five, and re-evaluate whether it’s time to talk. Be aware of the subjects or words that influence your emotions—both positive and negative—and calm down before responding.
Finally, listen between the lines. If you hear only the words without paying attention to the speaker’s tone of voice, facial expression, and body language, you risk missing hidden meanings or important signals. Confirm you’ve “gotten” the message. Transform what others said into a few words of your own.
And when it’s your turn to speak, know you’ve provided a model for how you hope your words will be received.
63. What’s the difference between hearing and listening according to the passage? (No more than 14 words)
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64. What does the author mean by saying “listen between the lines” in Paragraph 5? (No more than 8 words)
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65. What’s the best title for the passage? (No more than 8 words)
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